Life sucks …
Was the headline of one of the mails that hit my inbox recently. Of course I had to read it. Are you ready, this is what she wrote:
- Life is not about roses
- Before I was 16 years old I moved more than 6 times
- I do not have any contact with my biological father
- I turned blind on 1 eye when I was 22
- And I had a burn out when I was 30
Yes, misery and tragedy… life happens. That being said, I know that some of us have a tougher start in life than others. Believe me, we all have our share of life events.
Life does not test you, life reflects you
Once you get the real meaning of this you cannot blame anything of anyone for your situation. I have always stated that you have to create your own life the day you turn 18 years old. OK, back to the mail I received. The case was: she was facing the D-word. A divorce. Can happen to all of us. But the thing was: she published a book, 1,5 years before her divorce. And the name on the cover was that of her man. Ouch … that really hurts. Imagine yourself, having worked on your book for months, invested at least € 5.000 to get it edited and published and then, 1,5 years later, these books stare at you and hurt you. Just because YOU chose to use his name. The stupidest business decision you can make. Trust me.
Articles that I used to assure you and myself that we are not crazy and not alone:
- Huffington Post: Why are women still changing their last names?
- Wikipedia: Marriage
- Why so many women still take their husbands last name
My personal situation?
I have been together with the same man since 1987. We never got married or felt the urge to do so. We do have a file at the notary office, testaments and the last will. My children are his children, they wear his name because we agreed upon his last name being nicer than mine. He didn’t care which name we would take. This has nothing to do with being weak or bossy. It’s just a team decision.